Evidence · Schools and families
How to read your child's school gender policy
Where to find the policy, what to look for, and the rights parents have to see records and opt out of lessons.
The short answer
Many school districts have written rules on gender identity. These rules can decide whether staff tell parents when a child asks to use a new name or pronouns, and they can affect records, restrooms, trips, sports and lessons. Read the policy before a question comes up. You have a federal right to see your child's education records, and recent Supreme Court rulings strengthen parents' role.
Step 1: Find the policy
- Search your district website for the school board's policy manual. Look for terms such as "gender identity," "gender support plan" and "transgender and gender-expansive students."
- Check the student handbook and any guidance your state education department publishes for schools.
- If you cannot find it, ask the principal in writing for every policy, guideline and form on student gender identity. Keep a copy of your request.
Step 2: Read it with these questions
Notice to parents
- If a child asks to use a different name or pronouns at school, does staff tell the parents? Before or after?
- Can a child decide that staff should keep it from the parents?
- Does the school use a "gender support plan" or similar form, and are parents part of it?
Records
- Which name goes in the official record, and which in day-to-day systems such as class rosters and email?
- Does the school keep any separate file or form about a child's gender identity?
Facilities, trips and sports
- How does the school assign restrooms, locker rooms and overnight rooms on trips?
- How does it decide team eligibility? Check your state's law, because the rules differ by state.
Lessons and counseling
- Does the school give notice before lessons on gender and sexuality, and how do you opt your child out?
- What can school counselors discuss with your child without telling you?
Step 3: Know your rights
You can see your child's records
Under the federal privacy law known as FERPA, parents can inspect and review their child's education records. The school must respond within 45 days of your request. You can ask whether the school holds any plan, form or note about your child's gender identity. These rights pass to the student at age 18. The U.S. Department of Education explains them at studentprivacy.ed.gov.
You can ask to opt out of lessons
On June 27, 2025, the U.S. Supreme Court decided Mahmoud v. Taylor by a vote of 6 to 3. A Maryland district had refused to let parents opt young children out of storybook lessons that conflicted with the families' religious beliefs. The Court held that this burdened the parents' free exercise of religion.
Courts are weighing secrecy from parents
In March 2026, the Supreme Court reinstated a trial-court order in Mirabelli v. Bonta. That order blocks California rules that let schools keep a student's gender transition from parents, while the case continues in the lower courts. It was an emergency order, not a final decision, and it applies to that case.
Questions to ask your school
- Please send me every policy, guideline and form your school uses on student gender identity.
- Will you tell me if my child asks to use a different name or pronouns at school?
- Do you hold any plan, form or note about my child's gender identity? I am requesting to review all education records under FERPA.
- How will you notify me of lessons on gender and sexuality, and how do I opt my child out?
- Who is my contact if I have concerns, and how do I appeal a decision?
Make every request in writing and keep copies.
Related
This guide explains public law and policy. It is not legal advice. Laws differ by state and change often, so check current rules or talk with a lawyer about your situation. If you see an error, please contact us.